Tour’s Books Blog

March 23, 2015

Cozy Mystery and Misc. Short Reviews

Cozy mysteries are to real mystery what bodice ripper romance is to love stories, or what pablum is to real food – a formula book that gets SO formula, you know the whole plot in 30 pages or less.  Many cozy writers think it’s OK to bore their readers to death reusing old dialogue, recycling plots (theirs and other writers, even straight from TV), and telling basically the same story again and again.  God knows Janet Evanovich has made a fortune doing it and hasn’t had a quality book since Seven Up and she’s about to publish book Twenty-Two.

Then something like the Mall Cop books by Laura DiSilvero comes along and gives me hope for the genre ……….. and it dies after 3 entries.  Honestly, would someone explain why those moronic books get published and quality authors get relegated to oblivion?  And why do authors think anything that works the first time, or two or three times, will work IN EVERY DAMN BOOK THEY WRITE?  Believe it or not, I WANT a different kind of ending.  Something original, not something that is stupid beyond understanding, or so preposterous that I’m rolling my eyes.  Something that is …… well, within REALITY.  I realize the endless parade of shop owners, cooks, chefs, librarians, and little old busybodies have this unique ability to solve crimes that baffle the cops, but PLEASE, give me a least a hope of enjoying the story instead of composing scathing comments about characters in my head till I can no longer read another word with out destroying the book – or trying to set myself on fire.

Yup, it’s been a rough run of cozies.  So here we go, fasten your seatbelt, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

Way to start the new year, with a cozy by a quality author, Lorraine Bartlett, With Baited Breath – a nearly unforgivable play on words that has cause hundreds, if not thousands, of people to think that’s how that phrase is spelled.  This was hands down the single most boring, amateurish book I read in January and might possibly hold that title for all of 2015.  It gets an astonishing 4.5* on Amazon.  WHY?  It was so dull I was half way through and prayed for death – preferably of the entire cast of characters.  And yeah, the ending really was that obvious.  Please, SAVE YOURSELVES and skip this one (and any additional books in this series).  D+ to C- (2.5*) and seriously consider a different book, unless you really NEED a nap.

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The latest installment of the Tara Holloway series by Diane Kelly felt and read like a pastiche of her previous books with the same ending, Tara saving the day with her sharp shooting skills.  It’s getting kind of old.  Death, Taxes, and Cheap Sunglasses takes us back to the drug cartels and puts boyfriend Nick under cover with her best friend Christina from the DEA on possibly the slimmest premise ever suggested.  Naturally, Tara overhears the plans, go nuts in a most unprofessional and girly way and generally behaves like a jerk.  They go undercover anyway and Tara gets busy with her own cases, which tend to go sideways in unpredictable ways.

While the book has the usual dose of humor, the sort of inevitable ending is getting on my nerves, as does her inability to trust others are as competent as she is.  This what, the third time she’s saved Christina?  Is the DEA agent really that bad?  For all these reasons, I give the 8th outing for Tara a C+ to B- (3.5*) and a very tentative suggested read.  This is book 8 in a series, but each book can be read as a stand alone.

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Horse of a Different Killer is book 3 in the Call of the Wilde series by Laura Morrigan and one of the best I read so far this year.  Which isn’t really saying much, but it was a decent read.   Like many cozies these days, she has a paranormal twist – in this case a psychic vet who works as an ‘animal behaviorist’.  At least her involvement in murders is somewhat more plausible than that of your average shopkeeper.  The writing style is good, mature, and reads well.  Characters are well developed, even though most are rather ‘TV series stock characters’.  Horse of a Different Killer gets a B- (3.8*) from me and a suggested read for cozy lovers.

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OK, I REALLY want to say nice things about this book, but …………… damn.  It is well written, sort of.  The lead character is OK, in a lame in 2 dimensional way.  But the premise?  Nope, sooooo does not work for me.  A Wee Murder in My Shop adds not another ghost, but … OK, he IS a ghost of a 600 year old Highlander – who oddly enough speaks modern English, a major shock to me.  Not only is he a ghost, our heroine Peggy Winn is a dead ringer for his late love.  Seems that shawl she found had magic.  (Of course it did!  We’re lucky the cast of Brigadoon didn’t fly home with her and start putting on 2 shows daily in Vermont!)  So now Peggy apparently talks to thin air, has a cousin arrested for murder, and her ex-boyfriend whom she caught cheating just before leaving on her buying trip for her ScotShop, is now dead in her store.  See, another shopkeeper sleuth.  The lesson here is, never be a shop owner!  It causes dead bodies!!!!!!!

A Wee Murder in my Shop was at best an average effort.  Macbeth (yeah real original, huh?) is barely nonplussed by the modern world.  He it totally unbelievable.  Peggy is a cardboard cut out, and none of the characters have any real depth or credibility.  Just shallow, barely sketched in personalities.  It gets a C- (2.7*) and a suggestion to read a different series.

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Here we go again, another first book in a new series that ………… well, can’t quite decide what the hell it wants to be when it grows up.  Georgia Thornton is left at the alter by her commitment-phob police detective boyfriend.  She ends up kicked off the force, unemployed and suddenly starring in a reality TV show – Love or Money.  The catch is half the guys romancing her only want the prize money.  The half are really looking for love – which apparently now requires TV dating services.  Too bad her prospective beaus keep getting killed.

After #1 dies in a bungee jump from the Golden Gate (yeah, really), her detective ex, Paul Sanders, steps in under a fake name with a fake job and tries romancing for real.  A First Date With Death is a clever idea that didn’t quiet gel.  Georgia is by turns whiny and immature, and then insightful and adult.  It was annoying.  Paul needs a swift kick into maturity.  the guy who wins is barely a character at all.

The book has some very funny moments and showed a lot of promise, but just fell short when it came to character development (I got whiplash wondering which Georgia would show up – the adult of the whiny overaged teen) and in its plotting.  To be honest, I barely cared who did it by the end.  No thrills for me.

A First Date with Death gets a C- (2.7*) and read only if you will suspend your logic long enough to get through the book.  I see no clear way this character can become a series, so where it goes from here is anyone’s guess.

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