Tour’s Books Blog

July 3, 2014

The Evil Aunt – Coda

Filed under: Observations and Comments,opinion — toursbooks @ 7:38 pm
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Yes, it seems the death of the last Evil Aunt, the one I considered staking in her coffin (just to be sure), had one final, unexpected scene – and it was a gem.

I get my mail Tuesday (expecting 3 books that arrived) and there’s this orange slip saying I had to go get a certified return receipt letter at the PO. Well by the time I see it, the PO is closed, so all Tuesday nite I’m wondering, “Am I getting sued?”  “Am I getting audited by the IRS?” (blind panic ensues)

Yesterday, I ran up just before the t-storms hit and the damn thing is from a lawyer a few towns over and I’m mentally going, “Oh s%$t, what kind of trouble am I in.” As I reach the car, I get pelted with giant rain drops and even the letter gets slightly damp before I can climb in. With some trepidation, I open it and ………………. it’s about this aunt’s will.  I’m thinking, “She didn’t leave me anything.  As far as she was concerned, I didn’t exist.”

Nope, she did NOT leave ANYTHING to either my brother or me, BUT state law requires we be notified in case we wish to challenge the will, because she left whatever remained of her estate (not much since the house had a reverse mortgage) to every niece and nephew EXCEPT US.

Sitting in the car, I became hysterical with laughter and thought, “Perfect, this is such a perfect example of what a petty, bitter b*&#%h she was.”  I call my brother, ready to yell at him for not warning me about a certified letter so I wouldn’t freak out thinking I was being sued, only to learn his had not arrived.  So he told him what it was and read the will.  He said, “Good! I wouldn’t have accepted a damn thing from her.”  Which was exactly MY reaction.  I would have refused.  The woman was toxic.  I do NOT need bad karma from her.

Now I have one cousin who is a real softie and a truly GOOD person, and I knew this would bother her, so I called her last night and said, “I got this letter from the lawyers ………” I’m laughing while I say this and she starts crying!!!!!!!!!!!!! She feels so bad about what our aunt did and I kept saying, “Don’t be upset. If she’d gone completely out of character and included my brother and me, we would simply have surrendered our share back to the estate.” She just kept saying, “It’s so wrong!” Finally I said, “That woman was a hateful, nasty, spiteful person. Why would I want anything from her? It would be tainted!”

Turns out, even her daughter refused to take something from the house because, “Grandma said they were mean to her.”  Mean is polite.  The two sisters were just vile people.  Hell, they didn’t even like each other!  It’s why I wouldn’t go to the funerals. (Well that, and my brother was afraid of what I’d say or do, but honestly, I did NOT have a wooden stake with me!  OK, yeah, I was humming, but SOFTLY!)  The other aunt died years ago, so this was the last bitter sister.

As I said to my brother, “Well damn, there goes my dream of finally owning the family candy dish I always wanted.”

So now you know that I had good reason to carry garlic cloves that day.  Yes, she really was that bad and obviously damn proud of it.  I’m just sorry my cousin is so upset by it.  She shouldn’t be.  We have no control over how our relatives behave.  We can only control how we react to it.  She meant the fact she mentioned every “beloved’ niece and nephew except the two of us to hurt.  Instead, we found it funny, sort of sad and pathetic, and kind of the ultimate  example of just what kind of petty person she always was.

Unfortunately, I may have to stop my cousin from trying to split her share with me.  I hope I made it really clear how much neither my brother nor I wanted ANYTHING from that woman.  I’d know she means well, but no.  I have zero interest in her money – what little is left, her belongings, or anything else, except maybe photos.  If my cousin can find photos of dad, that would be great.

Some people are just ………… well let’s just say, the my world is a decent place and I’ll manage my life is just fine without any of her very bad karma around – even in the form of a candy dish.

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