Tour’s Books Blog

February 13, 2009

Just Say No – Lords of the Satyr trilogy

Filed under: Book review — toursbooks @ 11:34 pm
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I rather foolishly took the high ratings of Nicholas, the first book in the The Lords of the Satyr trilogy, as being indicative of a good story and bought the three books – Nicholas, Lyon and Raine. Never again will I buy all parts of a trilogy before reading at least one book. What a waste of money.

The writing quality is excellent, far better than your average erotic romance novel, even the lead character Nicholas, is interesting. But somewhere along the line, the story just doesn’t work for me. It starts out well enough as three brothers running vineyards in Italy in the mid-1800’s just as the notorious Phylloxera infestation sweeps the European vineyards. That the Satyr vines remain unaffected is a source of some speculation on the part of other growers – but is explained to readers as a natural outgrowth of the Satyr blood link to the land – the health and well being of each is interdependent. The story draws on various elements of Greek and Roman mythology and the relationship between various demi-gods and the fertility of the Earth.  Like the mythic half-goat half-human satyr’s, the brother’s grow horns and copulate with various creatures, including “shimmerskins” (sort of magical audio animatronic inflate-a-date substitutes) once a month at the full moon.  Their link to the mythic realms seems to include the Fey, though what Fey and descendants of the Geeks and Roman gods have in common is beyond me.  Anyway, the King of the Fey, Feydon, is dying and he asks that the brothers find and marry his three daughters that he fathered among various females in the human realm.  Nichloas, as eldest, goes first, and takes the first city offered by Feydon – Rome.  Initially, the story moves well with Nicholas finding the first daughter with little trouble and basically blackmailing her father and aunt into marriage, but once it moves back to the estate, it falls apart.

The lead characters go flat and their interaction has no spark.  Even though the book is written by a woman, the female characters are weakly developed and single dimensional and the only male that gets some substance is Nicholas – and he ends up coming across as a neglectful jerk.   At this point the story gets more absurd than anything.  Here we have a female lead who is wise enough to see the danger her aunt poses, but deliberately places herself back in the woman’s life and her supposedly intelligent husband allows it?  She finds ghosts cleaning the house at night and doesn’t freak out?  Finds her husband has a room – ROOM – full of ‘magical’ sex toys and isn’t even shocked?  All I could do was shake my head and skim the rest of the story in a desperate hope for an improvement.  No such luck.  The ‘ICK!” factor kicked in at mid-point and wouldn’t quit.  It didn’t help that you couldn’t become engaged in the characters – they just were not at all interesting or likable.

The second book – Lyon – the next brother gets mated to a hermaphrodite.   OK – now we are getting really freaky.  I honestly couldn’t get past the first couple of chapters with the nasty physician that exhibits the hermaphrodite and the syphilitic priest that wants to engage in sex with Lyon.  It was just too much.  Once again, we have a female – or shemale – that stupidly leaves the safety of the estate for no intelligent reason and walks directly into trouble.  Again, the ‘ICK’ factor is high and the plot weak.

I must admit, I was so fed up at having wasted my money on Nicholas and Lyon, I was almost reluctant to start Raine.  Would you believe the third daughter is a naiad?  May we have an eye roll please?  I surrendered.  Even I have my limits and I had reached them.

I can usually find SOME redeeming feature about a book, but honestly, these were just bad stories and more than just a little creepy – and not in any good way.  They left a bad taste in my mouth.  I treasure books, even the most mediocre represent hard work by the authors and I’m hard put to trash them.  I had no trouble tossing these three away.  Honestly, I’ve read books by Anonymous that were better than these.

Grade: F-

Who would enjoy these books: No one I know.  Maybe those heavily  into kink and not at all into a choherent story.  The books are XXX and yet they’re dull.

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