Book Review: Finger Lickin’ Fifteen by Janet Evanovich

Well, I’m back from vacation and I’m starting on my reviews while reading some of the new ebooks from Samhain.  The leaves were nice, not great, but I’m spoiled.  Anyway, it was good reading in the evening – and on Sunday with all the rain and SNOW down around Blandford and Lee and Massachusetts.  In a few days I’ll be at Authors After Dark – the paranormal romance authors soiree being held in Suffern, NY.  I’ll keep you posted.  In the meantime, let’s get the reviews started.

• Title: Finger Lickin’ Fifteen
• Author: Janet Evanovich
• Type: Humorous mystery
• Genre: Inept female sleuth; series
• Sub-genre: Stephanie Plum
• My Grade: D (2*)
• Rating: PG-13
• Where Available: Everywhere books are sold, your local library and used bookstores
• FTC Disclosure: This book was acquired through a free online book swapping service

Back in 1994, romance novelist Janet Evanovich changed the mystery genre by launching Stephanie Plum’s adventures in bond enforcement and amateur sleuthing in Trenton, New Jersey – the world’s least exotic local.  What was to become the trademark humor and zany antics weren’t as stressed there, but the bones were laid and both Morelli and Ranger debuted with Lula, Connie, and Grandma Mauser – all interwoven with a worthwhile mystery.  Through the next 4 books the quality just got better and better and Stephanie Plum would launch an entire genre of inept amateur sleuths still being copied today, from Kate Collins to Victoria Laurie to Kyra Davis, the winning formula has been cloned with varying degrees of success.  After Seven-Up, something happened.  Evanovich lost the mystery and focused on the antics more and more with each successive book.  It didn’t matter to sales, but it matters to the fans.  I struggled through To the Nines, the truly awful Ten Big Ones and Eleven on Top.  Twelve Sharp and Lean Mean Thirteen partly redeemed the series then Fearless Fourteen was so bad I decided to not buy the next book when it was released.  It was hard, but I stuck to my guns and waited till I could get it through an online book swapping service.  Damn, am I glad I didn’t pay for this book!

Book Review: Dragons Prefer Blondes by Candace Havens

• Title: Dragons Prefer Blondes
• Author: Candace Havens
• Type: Chick-lit Paranormal Romance; Series
• Genre: Kick-ass fashionista heroine; Caruthers Sisters Book 2
• Sub-genre: Paris Hilton does Mercy Thompson
• My Grade: C+ (3.3*)
• Rating: PG-13
• Where Available: Everywhere books are sold
• FTC disclosure: Purchased book on Amazon; I receive no compensation of any type for hyperlinks in this post

After The Demon King and I, not my favorite book, I felt oddly compelled to read the next book in this series in hopes I end up liking the next sister, Alexa, better.  Overall, I found Dragons Prefer Blondes a classic first-person, light, breezy book of the chick-lit genre, but the heroine remains remarkably dumb, or more correctly, blindly unobservant and not a critical thinker.  Dragons Prefer Blondes did have some of the annoying elements from The Demon King and I -  fighting first and thinking last and the supposedly less intelligent other species showing far more intelligence than the Guardians do!  The problem with chick-lit is the chronic faulty logic of the genre.

Alex Caruthers is a jet set club owner who is also the Guardian for the dragon world.  The current leader of the dragons is Ginjin and he’s decided that to escape his arranged marriage, he will marry Alex.  There’s the little problem of his trying to kill her, several times.  And the fact he isn’t exactly fond of her, nor she of him, but he needs a powerful wife to keep his intended away so he can save his planet and she’s his best bet.  Alex lies through her teeth and claims she has a serious relationship.  Odd, the whole time she was talking about her non-existent boyfriend, she was thinking of the good-looking head of Caruthers security department, Jake, a total hottie.  Ginjin isn’t thrilled by her refusal.  Alex is worried about what dear old Mom, who is all about the ‘greater good’, might do to keep peace and decides she needs a ‘pretend’ boyfriend – like Jake.

Book Review: Lust, Loathing and a Little Lip Gloss by Kyra Davis

• Title: Lust, Loathing and a Little Lip Gloss
• Author: Kyra Davis
• Type: Chick Lit Mystery
• Genre: Semi-comic amateur sleuth
• Sub-genre: Series with mystery writer sleuth
• My Grade: B (4*)
• Rating: PG-13
• Where Available: Everywhere books are sold

Yes Virginia, there are still clever amateur sleuth mysteries out there, they’re just awful hard to find.  A once respected genre of the mystery family, cozies have gotten a bad name with me thanks to the rash of moronic books that now dominate the market.  Classic cozies by superb writers like Rhys Bowen, Victoria Thompson, Jacqeline Windspear have fallen to the glitzy, glassy, brainless, annoying pile of clones doing too-stupid-to-live fashionista mysteries or Stephanie Plum wannabe’s complete with a cast of crazed friends.  Even Lisa Lutz’s very original Spellman series was weak in the most recent entry.  Somehow, chick-lit mysteries have come to dominate the cozy market.  Yes, there are bright spots thanks mostly to older authors who still think a mystery is supposed to be A MYSTERY, not an idiot vehicle for nutty family antics or a bemoaning tribute to longing for $400 shoes and designer dresses.  Some series started off well, but recent entries went down the tubes (Gemma Halliday) and some never got off the ground (Rhonda Pollero).  A very few have held onto a consistent performance – Ellen Byerrum’s Crimes of Fashion does an excellent job with this genre and Nancy Martin is usually OK, though the series is inconsistent – others hope like hell to just cash in on the craze.  Granted, this is the first Kyra Davis book I’ve read, and fourth in her Sophie Katz series, but it was GOOD!

Book Review: The Demon King and I by Candice Havens

• Title: The Demon King and I
• Author: Candice Havens
• Type: Paranormal Chick-Lit
• Genre: Urban Fantasy, Multiple Worlds
• Sub-genre: Kick-ass Heroine and Enemy Hero
• My Grade: C+ (3.4*)
• Rating: PG – 17
• Where Available: Everywhere books are sold

The Demon King and I is told in the first person by Gillian Caruthers, one of four Caruthers sister who are the Guardians to the portals between Earth and other worlds where the stuff of myth and nightmares live.  The split personality of Gillian’s life makes it hard to buy the basic premise, a famous, much photographed, rich girl as a sword wielding, demon butt kicking heroine.  In addition, Gillian comes across as a terminally shallow heroine with superhuman strength and world class fighting skills.  The plot itself is somewhat standard – evil magic, end-of-the-world, complete with traitors and kidnapped family member, etc.  If you need a primer on high end designer clothing and shoes, this is your book.  Designer names are dropped faster than red herrings in a mystery.  For some reason Gillian is really obsessed with appearances – to the point where her most burning question of the demon king when he shows up unexpectedly in her office to tell of a serious dark magic infecting the portals, is to ask where he got his suit!  ARGH!!!!!!!!!

BOOK REVIEW: Killing Bridezilla by Laura Levine

• Title: Killing Bridezilla
• Author: Laura Levine
• Type: Chick Lit
• Genre: Mystery
• Sub-genre: Amateur sleuth
• My Grade: C+  (3.5*)
• Rating: PG
• Warnings: none

Laura Levine writes the Jaine Austen mystery series featuring writer for hire, Jaine Austen. She does ads, resumes and whatever else comes her way to make ends meet in Hollywood. Levine herself is a former comedy writer and it shows in the timing and style of the humor of her books. Here she gets to mine the humor of the painful high school years when Jaine is called by her personal HS nightmare, Patti Devane, and offered a very badly need $3,000 for writing her wedding vows – a rewrite of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet a la Friends. Re-write Shakespeare? Jaine really wants to say, “Hell NO!”, but the reality of her bank account has her mouth saying, “Of course!”

Jaine is optimistic that class bitch Pattie has become a civilized human being. The maid that answers the door quickly puts that hope to rest by saying, “Another one?” Sure enough, Pattie still has the charm of a pit viper and an uncanny sense for a person’s weak spot. In addition to Jaine, she has 2 classmates as her attendants, Denise and Cheryl (Cheryl gets thrown out for being ‘fat’ and Pattie hires an actress to replace her), another is acting as caterer (Veronica), and she’s marrying yet another classmate, Dickie Potter, whose marriage – to yet another classmate, Normalynne – she broke up when the two got reacquainted at the class reunion. She wants the ‘lamb less lamb-y’, the shrimp ‘less fishy’ and the roses more ‘rose-y’. Pattie is the archetype liposuctioned, bust enhanced, self adsorbed Bel Air bitch. One wonders how she lived so long without someone shoving her off a cliff.